A collection of the journals, fiction, letters, and sketches of the late Esther Grace Earl, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 16.

My message of love

Even though I’ve been battling cancer myself these past few months (and winning, too!), I’ve never felt more fortunate in my life. I have an amazing group of friends, the most loving family one could ask for, a beautiful, caring girlfriend, and one adorable little kitten. Though these past few months have been hard, it was made so much easier with the help and support of these people in my life. Their love has inspired me, and now I get to return the favor.

To my parents, who, despite my many failures, have never seen me as anything but a success: I love you.

To my siblings, whose great role modeling has inspired me to become a better person: I love you.

To my extended family, who, to me, aren’t really all that extended- you all have been a huge part of my life: I love you.

To my closest and dearest friends, who have shown me what true friendship means: I love you all.

To Caroline, my girlfriend, who is too wonderful to put into words yet too modest to admit it: I love you.

I would also like to express my gratitude to the medical team I’ve worked with these past few months while I battled cancer. My surgeons, Dr. Lin and Dr. James, have worked miracles on me and because of them, I am now likely 100% cancer-free. Thank you so so much for all the amazing work you’ve done.

Finally, I would like to thank all of you who participate in celebrating Esther and her message of love. Her spirit truly lives on through this holiday. I love you all for making a difference on the lives of people like myself.

Amazing Esther Day moment at LeakyCon!

M(3) - you are the three most awesome kids in the world and I am blessed to be able to share your life’s journey with you.  I love you always and forever - more today than yesterday but less than tomorrow!

I love you

I love you.

Not because we are the same, but so different.

Not because we see eye to eye, but soul to soul.

Not because of convenience, but of desire.

Not because you are perfect, but faulted as me.

I love you.

Not because this is final, but everlasting.

Not because of what was, but what will always be. 

Not because this is easy, but surrounded by difficulty.

Not because I miss you, but wish you here with me. 

My Best Friend.  The one i can stay up talking to until 4am and not even realize it. The one that will continue to call me, no matter how many times I deny his call, until I pick up-only for him to say something stupid than hang up on me.  The one that I think about every night and day, wondering what i would have done if I never got that dare.  That dare to go hang out with the geeky nerds playing Jenga in a corner of the classroom the first day of 8th grade changed my life forever.  He knows I love him but I can never say it to him in person… So if by chance he reads this, here it goes.  You, I love you and you know it.  You have saved me, time and time again.  If we grow old and grow apart, you’ll be the friend’s name that doesn’t slip my mind.  It’ll always be in the back of my head, somewhere.  I speak hypothetically, of course, for if we ever do grow apart, I don’t know what’ll do.  For you are by backbone, my support, my friend.  And even when we don’t talk for weeks at a time, I know you’re there if I need you.  You can always tell when I’m down and always know how to pick me back up.  Well this is getting awfully long.  Long story short: Even if I never do say it to your face-know i love and need you, best friend.  <3  Me

To my sister, Lydia

Hey Lydia, I love you so much and I am so grateful for the person u are in my life. I thank God for you and the love you give me. Sometimes I get annoyed at your worry for me but I understand wholeheartedly that it is out of love. I am so proud of the Godly woman you are and I hope He brings you blessings always. Thank you for lettin me stay with you for a month every summer and for going on vacations with u, I love you and will never stop visiting you until I get a job and family of course lol but u understand lol ☺️😉

I love you

I appriciate everything you all do for me. I love you guys more than anything❤️

I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I think you look great in those jeans. 

I hope you know that you’re smarter than you let on.

I hope you know that your eyes remind me of the ocean and I love the ocean. 

I hope you know that I will love you through and through. 

I hope you know that you are a phenomenal human being and I love you in harmony with many others. 

I love you.

I 💚 ya Becky!

my bestfriend, daniel, aka my bing. i couldn’t ask for a better friend who has been here for me in ways no other human has. you’ve listened to me babble about nothings, watched me cry, rescued me, made me laugh til my stomach hurts, pick on me in the most annoying ways (but knowing you don’t mean any real upset), you’re the sour cream to every food i wanna eat. i’ll love you forever & know we’ll spend the rest of our lives being foolish together.


My message of love is to everyone because some people don’t have families in this world so everyone stay strong and someone loves you❤️

The fact that I am going to die someday,somehow is the only thing I know for sure so as much as the idea of death relaxes me it also makes me feel incomplete.I know I don’t have much time to spend with the ones I love and I kind of suck at showing how I love/how grateful I am to them so today is the perfect day to do this.Today I’m celebrating the awesomeness of Esther and the rest of the universe, times I wake up at home knowing there will be warm tea,delicious omelette and four smiling,familar faces,times that I try to express all the confusing and messed up thoughts I had in my unorganized mind and the relaxation comes after words of pure love,care,support  from mom and dad.I’m grateful for so much and I love so many souls,tears,stories,laughters,friends and more.I love them all and that’s the only important thing to remember in this little life of mine.

Esther Day is tomorrow, and in memory of her I will stay up all night and watch all of her vlogs and vlogbrother videos about her, to remember her, and to remind me just how lucky I am to have and love such an amazing family and friends, and to be part of Nerdfighteria.

#EstherDay #DFTBA #Iloveyou

Best Friend Since Forever

I am so glad that our paths crossed that one day when we were just three years old. We have been friends ever since that day, and we have had our ups and downs along the way, but we have always managed to make things better. Even though I feel like we are not as close as we should be, I’m still really glad to call you my best friend. I think that you should really open up more and tell me what is on your mind. I know you think that you shouldn’t worry me with your problems, but I really care about you and I’m always here to listen. People at school always ask us if we’re related, and I think it’s so awesome how we look like we could be cousins, because you are kind of like my cousin, or sister. People also come up to me and say, “Why are you friends with her, she’s so weird”, and I literally want to flip them off, but I just say “Yeah, okay whatever.” I do think that you can be weird at times, but everyone is weird including me, and there is nothing wrong with being weird. I mean I love your weirdness, because that’s such a huge part of your personality, and I love that we can be weird together. I really wish that we can continue our friendship, because these last twelve years we’ve spent together have been really fun. I love how when we hang out we always start laughing at the most random things, and then you can’t stop. Then you get all crazy and then we start wrestling each other, which can get really crazy(I’m still stronger!!).We are pretty weird! Thanks for always making me laugh. Thanks for being there for me, even when we argue. Thanks for always sticking up for me, and all the compliments. I love you so much, and I’m so excited to see our friendship grow even stronger. Love you Chrissy// Adas Polo(s/o to people who understand what that means hahahah). <3 <3 <3